Mar. 27th, 2017

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I was in Santa Rosa last Thursday and as promised (to myself), when in Santa Rosa a stop at the gym is de rigeur.

When I walked through the door of the gym, I was greeted by a very pleasant, young African-American man, sporting a chinstrap beard, who said quite loudly, "Dude! How do you do that?"

"Do what?"
"Grow a full beard like that."
"Um, I stopped shaving."

The other man behind the desk, a smaller Pacific Islander (note, I said smaller, not small. I'm not sure that Samoan and small are two words that actually belong in the same sentence.), slapped this young man over the shoulder & said "I told you that's all you needed to do!" The Samoan's hair was up in a 20 something man bun, & while most Pacific Islanders are not particularly hirsute, he has as full a beard as I do.

The black guy shrugged his coworker off and turned back to me and I asked how long it had been since I stopped shaving. I decided to pull his chain a little bit and responded with as straight a face as I could, "2 1/2 weeks ago."

As he shook his head sadly, & said, "mine just won't grow that way," the Samoan guy leaned in and said quietly, "well, there is an alternative."
"There is?"
"You can rub goat sperm onto your face."

I've never seen a person of color flush that shade of red before. He then beat a very hasty retreat.

With him gone I leaned over to the Samoan guy and said, "you do realize when he comes down he's going to tell everyone of your coworkers you have oral sex with goats, don't you?"

"Hmm, maybe I should've thought about that before I said it."
I responded, "don't look at me. I don't date outside my species


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