May. 8th, 2017

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My closet is nearing completion. The contractor took off Friday morning for a previously planned side job. I slapped paint onto the walls and ceiling on Thursday. What was left from his perspective was the base board molding and painting the door jam.

I hung the majority of the shelving/clothing rod combo (thanks Closetmaid!) yesterday and today. I lined the back and one side wall with two levels of the stuff. There are more planned, but not till the baseboard is in, the door is back on and the jamb is painted.

Late this afternoon I went to the garage, found three large boxes of shirts and carried them into the bedroom to open, sort, try on, cull and *gasp* put away!! Three boxes came in and before I was done, two went out to the car to go to Goodwill maƱana. That's not quite half of shirts I carried in today. What went bye bye? Anything clearly too large, anything I just wouldn't, wear even if it did fit, and anything torn or stained. Much of what remains is from Landsend and of better quality. I'm certain I've kept more than I should, but more culling is planned. Boxes I opened today were mostly packed in late December/early January, which was about 25 pounds into the 65 I've dropped since I started last November. They were labeled 'current wardrobe'. I've yet to find the smaller sizes that were packed last fall. Those constitute mostly 2Xs and XLs.

I found a handful of 2Xs in this batch, all of which now fit. I suspect once I find the boxes of the smaller shirts, most of the 3's will get packed up again, to be given away down the line. As I've said previously, letting go of stuff does not come naturally to me. I jettisoned a huge amount of stuff in the process of packing, knowing if was just the first cut. As I'm carving away at myself, and letting go of the lifestyle choices that were not working for me, so too am I chopping away at my possessions, winnowing what is worthy of retaining.

Oddly enough, I found myself talking to the shirts as I sorted and discarded. Some were validated - "you were well made and once looked good on me; now it's time you keep someone else warm." Others, not so much. "Your sleeves were always too long/short" "You were always wrinkled." "What was I thinking when I bought you?" I'm actually glad my husband left me alone to sort things. Had he seen me talking to myself, he might try to have me committed.

So the top clothing rod is now half full. Three solid feet of shirts. See why I'm saying I've kept more than I should? This is just for now; the lion's share of these will disappear from my closet by the time I hit 250. Assuming I've found the smaller sizes by then.

I have kept a handful of 'before' clothes, reminders of what horrors I'm capable of when I leave myself and my needs on the back burner, if not off of the stove altogether. There's a tie dyed polo, I was so happy to get back into. It now swims on me. I've got pictures taken of me wearing it, from a couple of years ago. (For anyone just tuning in, while I'm down almost 65# since November, I've lost almost 110# since I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance 3 1/2 years ago.)

Why just shirts for now? Pants are going on the lower rod, and until the baseboards are nailed in, I'm not doing anything that will make the contractor's work more difficult. However, this sorting, purging, and putting away was cathartic! It was a major step towards a return to normalcy and damn is that ever a relief!


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