osodecanela: (Default)
After 36 years of marriage, I am uncertain whether I am a married gay man, or a gay single parent.

My husband just recently on CPAP & is still not used to using it. Kaiser is still working with him to find the right mask, and last night I was awakened repeatedly by the noise of his mask leaking air. The first two times I tried shifting his mask a little bit, but after the third attempt in less than half an hour, I turned on the overhead light to find that he had turned his headgear into macramé and badly done macramé at that. I have no idea how he did this, but it was no surprise the mask was leaking given its tenuous attachment to his face. I woke him, had him sit up and readjusted every last bloody strap and connection after which he was out like a light. I was up until past 3. At 7, I heard him up in the kitchen.

I'm now trying to go back to sleep. We've got friends coming for dinner and poker at 6:30.
osodecanela: (Default)
I've been on CPAP for obstructive sleep apnea for over 20 years. My apnea is not as bad as it was when I was heavier, but from the description of my college room mate, I'm likely one of those people who had it at normal weight. My husband has teased that my nightly use of the machine is evidence of belonging to the Borg collective.

Last night he joined the collective.

For the past several years he has been tired all the time, napping almost daily for several hours by late afternoon. Then recently, now that I'm home much more since retiring, I witnessed him obstructing. I insisted on a sleep study, which revealed moderate obstructive apnea. Yesterday, he drove back to Sonoma county & after seeing his dentist for a new crown and then driving out to check on our old place, he went to the CPAP class at Kaiser and got a trial machine. He'll use this for the next couple of weeks, then return it for them to analyze its data card, after which he'll be getting his own machine.

He's not happy about this, but if it will make him feel better rested, he's willing.

To my surprise, he opted for the full face mask. (I use nasal pillows, with a chin strap to keep my mouth closed.)

I think he slept better last night, for which I'm grateful. Me? Not so much.

He was clingy last night. On a gut level, I think the admission he has a problem, a diagnosis that needs chronic management, is frightening. We're still in the full bed in the guest bedroom upstairs. It's not a comfortable bed for me. With my weight loss since last fall, we now both 'fit' in the bed, but it certainly isn't roomy. If he has plastered himself to me, as he did last night, I can't move. I have no place to turn over. While he was in Santa Rosa yesterday, I spent 4 1/2 hours clearing brush and landscaping in advance of fire season here. With the previous bad fires that hit Lake County over the past several years, I'm taking the warning to create a defensible space around your house seriously. Dry grass and dead tree limbs are fuel for wild fires. I'm in better shape than i once was, and I'm happy I have the ability to do this work, but truthfully, I'm good and sore. That partnered with the lousy bed & a clingy husband did not add up to a good night for me last night.

I need a massage and a long hot soak. Sadly, I don't see either of those happening today. I'm going to have to settle for some coffee and a couple of Tylenol. Time to get up.

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osodecanela

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