Aug. 13th, 2006

osodecanela: (Default)
I was responding to Rockbear's post about 2 countries separated by a language, and decided to cross post my thoughts here

"Partner, soulmate, husbear, playmate, fuck buddy.....

"Quite a lexicon. To me playmate or fuck buddy implies 'friends with benefits' namely men you enjoy the company of, and have sex with on a recurring basis. Sex, not necessarily lovemaking. It may be good sex, certainly good enough to want repeatedly, but the accent is on play or recreation, not emotional intimacy.

"Husbear? Sounds to contrived for me. Besides not all of us partner with other bears (otters, wolves, pandas, koalas, sheep, whatever anthropomorphic term appeals this week).

"Soulmate has a warm feel to me, with an appeal. To me, it implies the man who is "the one", the person you're meant to spend your life with. When I was a child my grandmother used the Yiddish word "Beshert", to talk about my grandfather; she translated this as soulmate. She said it is the person who inspires you to proclaim "Ani le dodi, v'dodi lee" ("I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine")

"Partner is a reasonable term, albeit to easy to misinterpret, if you're not reading between the lines. A medical colleague of mine introduced me to his partner, at which point I honestly said with surprise, "I thought you were in a solo practice!" His lover gently took my hand to shake it and said, "no, he meant 'life-partner'. I understand people in our community not wanting to take on the heterosexual baggage of spouse, husband or wife, but for this bear, after 25 years with my 'partner', husband is what feels the most comfortable, and the most honest for me."

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