Sitting with discomfort....

So my doc stopped me once again with a challenge to my way of thinking.

"You need to embrace the thin man within."
"I'm too busy getting to know the man within who's not disabled," I countered.
"Stop right there."
I batted my eyes like a deer in the headlights, too dazed to turn and run.
"You need to repeat after me: I am able-bodied. Say it. Say it now."

I had a hard time doing that. If 'not disabled' = 'able-bodied', then why the hell was it so hard for me to say it?

If I can run 5 miles on an elliptical, if I can push myself for an hour and a quarter without feeling as though I'm killing myself, I can hardly see myself as disabled. However, to proclaim myself able-bodied? Not so easy.

Once again I have been caught in negative self re-inforcement, & just when I'm thinking I'm not doing it, I see on some level indeed I am.

I'm beginning to think I need a shrink, as much as I need my track shoes.

I run on he elliptical with the thought of, "sí, se puede", pero en la realidad, no mi siento poderoso. ¿Determinado? ¡Sí! ¿Pero poderoso? Pienso no.

Tal vez, en tiempo. ¿Quien sabes, quizas mañana?

I think I just came off of another plateau....

When I saw my doc yesterday, it was only a week after my last visit. We needed to touch base on labs and progress, plus with her leaving on vaca to Kaua'i and my husband and I heading to LA for Thanksgivikkah, I won't see her for another month. Despite my sustained changes, I was still the same weight as a week ago. Last visit, there had been an 11 lb drop and so I was not surprised. You hit plateaus on the way south. As long as one continues with the sustained changes in lifestyle, the weight will take care of itself.

Last evening, as I was working on paperwork, the waterworks hit. For reasons I didn't understand, I started peeing like the proverbial race horse. After my third trip to the mens room in an hour, I actually went into my lab and did a blood sugar, just to convince myself it was normal. It was. You certainly can't get worked up about a result of 84. The next trip in to the head, I checked urinary ketones. They were weakly positive, which halfway explained the increased flow. Ketones, which are produced by breakdown of stored body fat, are a weak diuretic.

I'd eaten a wonderful lunch. The detail rep, who's wife is also a celiac patient brought fish tacos (ling cod, unbreaded and seared to absolute perfection) on a bed of organic cabbage wrapped in organic corn tortillas and topped with a thin avocado sauce, as well as a gluten free margarita pizza. The pizza mercifully was small; I did try a piece, as he was raving about how superb this place is and it was amazingly good. However, I was quite satisfied after the tacos. Some sparkling water rounded out the meal. I'm a nut for good fish tacos and these were the first I'd eaten since the discovery of my celiac disease two months ago. Between two tacos and a small slice of the margarita, I'd eaten plenty at lunch.

Well this morning, I stepped on the scale at the hospital (one that correlates with my doc's) and I'm 4.5 lbs lighter today than I was yesterday. I suspect it's likely more like 5 lbs as I was in scrubs yesterday and street clothes today. I know there are variations in weight one day to the next, but still 4-5 lbs is a lot.

The Southern Equality Project.....

Hawai'i...

Marriage equality just passed the Senate in Hawai'i. The House amended SB 1 that came over from the Senate and approved it last Friday and now the Senate has voted 19-4 to approve the amended bill.

Gov Abercrombie has lobbied for marriage equality and is expected to sign the legislation, perhaps as early as tomorrow. Marriages will begin on December 2. Once he signs it, Hawai'i will become the 15th state in the marriage equality camp (and Illinois will become the 16th when Gov. Quinn signs their bill into law on 11-20).

(Say AMEN!!!)