Tangible change...

[osodecanela]

I don't know what it's like for people of more standard sizes, but the reality for people who are very heavy, clothing sizes don't feel terribly standard. One company's 3X is another company's 4. In my closet and in my drawers I have items that I am currently wearing that go everywhere from 3X to 5. Well at the rate that I am currently dropping, Monday morning is likely to be another milestone; it will be four weeks since I started and will probably be a total loss of 20 pounds. (I'm at 19 right now.)

Unfortunately, I need tangible things that I can see and feel to drive home to me the changes happening are real. While stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers moving downwards delights me, they're just that, numbers.

Today I get to do something that is probably a much more important milestone for me. I'll be packing up clothing that I'm not going to wear anymore. Several years ago I picked up a bunch of denim scrub shirts. I was rather fond of them, and I didn't have to think about what to wear to work, plus they were pretty damn durable, Something rather important to me because as a fat person, I'm pretty hard on my clothes. Moreover, they were on closeout, being discontinued, so I bought all the 4x and fives that they had.

Today, I get to pack up all those 5x's. They're too big for me to wear. The 4x's that were sitting in the bottom and back of the drawer are now going to be the only ones in the drawer. I get a functional drawer back! However, the very act of packing up clothing I never expect to wear again is momentous. It's reaffirming. It's a damned good thing.

And for me, it really is tangible change.

Enough dwelling on this. I need to head to the gym.

Comments

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

I too have to shorten everthing. My husband & I both have a 27" inseam - except I'm 5 inches taller than he.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Sizing seems to have gone completely haywire in the last couple decades. Nowadays I can't buy anything anymore without first trying it on. monshu and I spent an hour at Old Navy yesterday trying to find me clothes. One of the pairs of pants I bought was labeled "36x32", another was "34x34". And this is from the same store. Look in my closet, and you'll find a spread of waist sizes from 32 to 38--and this on a supposedly objective measure. Relative sizes are all but meaningless. I have t-shirts labeled "M" and "XXL" which fit me almost the same.

[westwind-mv.livejournal.com]

Way to go, Weaver! I admire your stick-to-itiveness!

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

Thanks Dave. The gym stuff is not difficult for me, nor is the walking. It makes me feel good.

It's a new narrative for me - one where I get to see myself again as able-bodied. After so many years as seeing myself as disabled due the arthritis, this is a new paradigm. Its hard to see yourself as disabled after spending a solid hour running on an elliptical.