This and that....
Jan. 7th, 2014 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
osodecanelaI'm in and out of my own head and existence. Night before last I went to a dear friend's open house. He and his lover (yes, I'd use 'husband' if that applied, but they've given no indication they wish to get married) bought a McMansion in the high rent district 9 months ago and never got around to a house warming. They finally did a holiday open house post New Years, night before last. Had a wonderful time, despite my husband deciding to pass on the event. I had things to get done in town so left early in the day, and once they were done hit the gym for a run. He was supposed to meet me there, at which time we would have proceeded up the hill to my/our friends.
I should have known better.
He'd hiked down the hill with the dog to fetch himself a latte, had run into the lesbian couple from next door, they'd all walked back together, and he was then done being social for the day. God forbid anything happens to me before him - he may never leave the house again. I called as I was going in to start my run (5 miles btw) and he hemmed and hawed for 2 minutes before announcing he was not leaving the house.
"I'll know nobody there other than the hosts, and they'll be busy entertaining, so all I'll do is eat. No, I'm not coming." Shy doesn't even begin to describe it. It frustrates me, but I cannot change that about him. There were easily 60 people at the party when I arrived, and the crowd was a nice mixture of both gay and straight people, both medical and not. He would have frozen in place, like a deer in the headlights. Perhaps it was better that I was there stag.
I ran into both Al and Dan separately, and dealt with their 'oos and ahs' over the change in my size. I saw Al out on their deck as several folks watched the fading light of the day. The view, while not actually of the sunset, was still spectacular. Al took one look at me, gave me the up and down, then just put his arms around me for one very warm & long bear hug. He whispered quietly into my ear, both how proud and relieved he was to see the change. We'd talked about it on the phone a few weeks before; given his schedule and mine, we'd not seen one another in probably 5 months.
Dan's response was a bit less reserved. I found him when I wandered, champagne flute in hand, into the master bedroom, where he was holding court with a good number of the queer folk at this gathering. From him I got a startled double take, followed by, "Oh, m'gawd! Where's the rest of you!" There was another man I'd met under other circumstances, a high school classmate of Dan's, who looked as me quizzically. A few minutes later he asked me if I was who he thought I was and then mentioned a friend of mine who used to be his tenant. This was followed by, "Damn you look good; please tell me what you're doing." My story wound up repeated what felt like a 1/2 dozen times over the next hour. At first it was rather satisfying. By the 4th retelling, it was getting a bit old. Even though my own truth is affected by several medical issues - Celiac disease, psoriatic arthritis, & insulin resistance - my weight loss all boils down to life style change, namely what I allow myself to eat and how I choose to move. It is a choice I'm making and it is how am I arranging my life to sustain these changes.
So, yesterday was the day I 'rested'. No gym. No time for it to be honest. I had an appointment with my pcp at 8 am, a whole day in the office and a meeting after work.
My pcp is thrilled with the changes I've made, and thanked me for allowing her to be part of my journey. That comment took me a bit by surprise. She's someone who takes life coaching quite seriously as a primary care provider, and right now, I'm one of the success stories she's got going in her practice. December was the first time I'd had a serious plateau to weather. From Thanksgiving till nearly X-mas, the scale scarcely budged, but then in the past week 10 lbs dropped away. I continued to work on my changes while that was going on. I knew I was getting smaller. Though the scal said otherwise, I was having to make adjustments to my clothes, belts in particular. New holes got added to the ones I was wearing, then added again. Finally, I got into two very nice belts I'd put away 7 years ago, when they became too small for me. I have one of them on at the moment, comfortably snug at my waist. I've now crossed another milestone. I've broken through the 60 lbs mark. I'm down 62 total. I actually knew that before my appointment. I weigh in every time I go to the gym, in order to know what number to put into the elliptical when I run - it's the only way the machine calculates how many calories I burn. I use that info to my advantage. Keeping the calorie burn high is a motivator for me.
I did get a nice piece of news from her yesterday. It's something way too early for me to focus on yet, but it's something that has crossed my mind. Whenever it is I finally get my weight down to goal, I'm pretty sure I'll need some sort of plastic/cosmetic intervention to take my skin in. I have no idea just how much I'll need to have done, but one cannot get to the weight I was, lose it and not need at least something. I have a guy in my practice who did exactly what I'm in the process of now; He was 360 & is now 190. I gave him a medical clearance to go find plastic surgery 14 months ago.
My dermatologist had mentioned laser assisted liposuction specifically to tighten/shrink down the skin, and I've since seen some rather striking before and after photos. I've seen the results of tummy tucks done by plastic surgeons and between the cost and results, it's not a procedure I want to consider. However, the laser lipo is sort of a medical version of shrink wrapping, for lack of a better word. And, it turns out my primary actually does it on the side. Again, I have no way now to know what I'll need in a few years from now, but knowing I already have a provider I trust who can take me through the procedure(s) when the day comes is enormously reassuring.
So, to change subject, things are now plodding through the courts again. I'm disappointed, but not surprised by the stay issued by the Supreme Court. Sotomayor tossed the question of the stay to the whole court, and it was an unsigned order that came back from the whole court. Time will tell this spring what the 10th circuit will do; the case is on the fast track. Sevcik v. Sandoval proceeding in the 9th circuit this spring as well, which will potentially give us two different federal court of appeal cases for SCOTUS to wind up hearing next fall. Things are also moving ahead in federal district courts in Virginia (with Olsen and Boies heading up our side) and Michigan. Given precedents set by Judge Shelby's ruling in Utah, and Walker's ruling in prop 8 (neither man known for being particularly liberal nor progressive), I have great hope for both these cases.
I should have known better.
He'd hiked down the hill with the dog to fetch himself a latte, had run into the lesbian couple from next door, they'd all walked back together, and he was then done being social for the day. God forbid anything happens to me before him - he may never leave the house again. I called as I was going in to start my run (5 miles btw) and he hemmed and hawed for 2 minutes before announcing he was not leaving the house.
"I'll know nobody there other than the hosts, and they'll be busy entertaining, so all I'll do is eat. No, I'm not coming." Shy doesn't even begin to describe it. It frustrates me, but I cannot change that about him. There were easily 60 people at the party when I arrived, and the crowd was a nice mixture of both gay and straight people, both medical and not. He would have frozen in place, like a deer in the headlights. Perhaps it was better that I was there stag.
I ran into both Al and Dan separately, and dealt with their 'oos and ahs' over the change in my size. I saw Al out on their deck as several folks watched the fading light of the day. The view, while not actually of the sunset, was still spectacular. Al took one look at me, gave me the up and down, then just put his arms around me for one very warm & long bear hug. He whispered quietly into my ear, both how proud and relieved he was to see the change. We'd talked about it on the phone a few weeks before; given his schedule and mine, we'd not seen one another in probably 5 months.
Dan's response was a bit less reserved. I found him when I wandered, champagne flute in hand, into the master bedroom, where he was holding court with a good number of the queer folk at this gathering. From him I got a startled double take, followed by, "Oh, m'gawd! Where's the rest of you!" There was another man I'd met under other circumstances, a high school classmate of Dan's, who looked as me quizzically. A few minutes later he asked me if I was who he thought I was and then mentioned a friend of mine who used to be his tenant. This was followed by, "Damn you look good; please tell me what you're doing." My story wound up repeated what felt like a 1/2 dozen times over the next hour. At first it was rather satisfying. By the 4th retelling, it was getting a bit old. Even though my own truth is affected by several medical issues - Celiac disease, psoriatic arthritis, & insulin resistance - my weight loss all boils down to life style change, namely what I allow myself to eat and how I choose to move. It is a choice I'm making and it is how am I arranging my life to sustain these changes.
So, yesterday was the day I 'rested'. No gym. No time for it to be honest. I had an appointment with my pcp at 8 am, a whole day in the office and a meeting after work.
My pcp is thrilled with the changes I've made, and thanked me for allowing her to be part of my journey. That comment took me a bit by surprise. She's someone who takes life coaching quite seriously as a primary care provider, and right now, I'm one of the success stories she's got going in her practice. December was the first time I'd had a serious plateau to weather. From Thanksgiving till nearly X-mas, the scale scarcely budged, but then in the past week 10 lbs dropped away. I continued to work on my changes while that was going on. I knew I was getting smaller. Though the scal said otherwise, I was having to make adjustments to my clothes, belts in particular. New holes got added to the ones I was wearing, then added again. Finally, I got into two very nice belts I'd put away 7 years ago, when they became too small for me. I have one of them on at the moment, comfortably snug at my waist. I've now crossed another milestone. I've broken through the 60 lbs mark. I'm down 62 total. I actually knew that before my appointment. I weigh in every time I go to the gym, in order to know what number to put into the elliptical when I run - it's the only way the machine calculates how many calories I burn. I use that info to my advantage. Keeping the calorie burn high is a motivator for me.
I did get a nice piece of news from her yesterday. It's something way too early for me to focus on yet, but it's something that has crossed my mind. Whenever it is I finally get my weight down to goal, I'm pretty sure I'll need some sort of plastic/cosmetic intervention to take my skin in. I have no idea just how much I'll need to have done, but one cannot get to the weight I was, lose it and not need at least something. I have a guy in my practice who did exactly what I'm in the process of now; He was 360 & is now 190. I gave him a medical clearance to go find plastic surgery 14 months ago.
My dermatologist had mentioned laser assisted liposuction specifically to tighten/shrink down the skin, and I've since seen some rather striking before and after photos. I've seen the results of tummy tucks done by plastic surgeons and between the cost and results, it's not a procedure I want to consider. However, the laser lipo is sort of a medical version of shrink wrapping, for lack of a better word. And, it turns out my primary actually does it on the side. Again, I have no way now to know what I'll need in a few years from now, but knowing I already have a provider I trust who can take me through the procedure(s) when the day comes is enormously reassuring.
So, to change subject, things are now plodding through the courts again. I'm disappointed, but not surprised by the stay issued by the Supreme Court. Sotomayor tossed the question of the stay to the whole court, and it was an unsigned order that came back from the whole court. Time will tell this spring what the 10th circuit will do; the case is on the fast track. Sevcik v. Sandoval proceeding in the 9th circuit this spring as well, which will potentially give us two different federal court of appeal cases for SCOTUS to wind up hearing next fall. Things are also moving ahead in federal district courts in Virginia (with Olsen and Boies heading up our side) and Michigan. Given precedents set by Judge Shelby's ruling in Utah, and Walker's ruling in prop 8 (neither man known for being particularly liberal nor progressive), I have great hope for both these cases.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-01-07 10:12 pm (UTC)Congratulations on your achievement. I know just how difficult it is.
no subject
Date: 2014-01-07 10:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-07 11:23 pm (UTC)a dear in the headlights
I suspect Bill thinks of me this way from time to time. He's been known to call me "oso de candela", which was an inadvertent tongue-trip over your screen name.
As for the Utah situation: I'm dismayed by reflex, but it seems there is legitimate, well-grounded debate over whether this stay should or shouldn't have been granted, and minds much more legally trained and informed than mine have determined that there is solidly founded legal merit to both answers in this case.
Stridently negative reactions to the stay might, in the long run, prove to have been somewhat overblown—and I'd say the positive reaction from the other side is equally overblown. The unfortunate analogy that comes to mind is football fans hollering and cursing at the TV set or punching the air and barking at each other in response to each and every call of the referee, no matter how routine.
I think the Supreme Court justices probably have their gaze focused further down the road than those reacting strongly to the stay.
no subject
Date: 2014-01-07 11:55 pm (UTC)Oso de Candela - very appropriate for a man in lighting. I LIKE IT!
BTW I just get back from lunch at the hospital. I walked there from the office, by way of Yulupa Ave. That's would be like driving from Capital Hill to West Seattle, by way of Ballard. Got me in a nice hike at lunchtime, since I could get to the gym this morning.
no subject
Date: 2014-01-08 06:36 am (UTC)