Weaver's Web

Not all is bleak and brooding. Not all is dewdrops and light either, but on the whole, the balance ledger of our life is in the black.

A) Family . My beloved turned 67 yesterday. He’s lies beside me, cradled in the arms of Morpheus, thanks in large part to a post coital stupor. I’m grateful for the gift of our rather successful marriage, soon to be 38 years. I am as in love with him as I have ever been, very grateful for his gift of unconditional love. Yes, it’s work and not without its challenges. I’m often certain I’m not a married gay man, but rather a gay single parent, but I’m just as certain it’s as often he feels the same way.

Mom is holding her own, slowing down given her age, but living independently in her late 80’s. She’s had more than her fair share of health crises in the past 15 years, but has managed widowhood with both grace and strength. At this point, she revels in her growing brood of great grandchildren, numbering 5 as of last month. We had planned to go east for Thanksgiving, but cost was prohibitive. I opted to visit alone 2 weeks after, where Mom had more of my unadulterated attention & my wallet was spared some significant expense. In January, I made the journey to Cleveland to celebrate the birth and welcome Hayden Ari to the family, joining much, though far from all the family.

B) Hearth and home. On the whole, I’m happy here. The house, while humble by my family’s standards, is comfortable and much to my taste. Love my kitchen, and given the amount of cooking I do, that’s a good thing. I did after all design what I wanted in the remodel. The place has shaped up to a comfortable environment. Moreover, to my surprise, I like this physical environment. Ideal? No. It’s remote, and yet at the same time, I like it’s solitude. It is stunningly beautiful and I’m enjoying the change of the seasons. Not the change of the East Coast of my youth, but there are 4 distinct seasons here. Oh, and sun! Things grow here. To my absolute shock, this city kid likes to garden!

What don’t I like? A dearth of community. I know very few other gay folk here. Worse, not too many intellectual types are here either I’m afraid. I love the lack of crowding, yet bemoan the lack of community. Perhaps, this is due for a change. I expect more social contact, as a part time return to work appear imminent.

C). Work.

“But i thought you were retired?”.

Financially, I really need to change that. I’ve posted previously retirement was predicated on selling our old property. Two years on, it’s unsold, thanks to a landslide that took out the county road that went to it. There have been two temporary fixes to said road, but not a permanent one, markedly affecting the value & marketability of the 12 acres we own. A repair was promised first for the fall of ‘17, then the spring of ‘18 and now maybe by this fall. Ergo, it’s time for me to bring in some sheckles.

I was a crispy critter, a prime example of MD burn out when I closed my private practice. I’ve needed this time to heal, to become better acquainted with just who the hell I am, what I want and need. For the cup to runneth over, it periodically must be filled and I was quite clearly running on empty. People talk about having your own needs on the back burner; I was so consumed with practice, my needs weren’t even on the stove. Now that life is reaffirmed, its time to turn outward again, at least in part.

20 months ago, I reached out to a local medical group to talk about work opportunities. I was not happy with what I heard. I said “bilingual family based, primary care”; they countered “pain management.”

No, thank you.

Now in their defense, I didn’t push the matter. I dropped my inquiry. I really wasn’t ready to go back to work and it colored what I heard. They didn’t say that was all they had. It was however a pressing need for them. I was clear it wasn’t what I wanted to do.

In mid January, I wrote again, and this time it’s been a very different reception. They requested a current CV and once tended, the local recruiter contacted me. Three weeks ago I had a 6 hour interview, including a trip to their new clinic facility 20 miles north of my home. Last week, I sent them all of my colleague references and Wednesday the recruiter contacted me to say the group is issuing a letter of intent to hire me. I expect to see it by next Monday. They would like more, but are content to offer me the 1/2 time position I’m interested in. Word is there is a significant signing bonus included. Not holding my breath, but we’ll see what the LOI says when it arrives.

The clinic building I’ll likely be working in is well appointed, but still a bit sterile. Needs some more artwork on the walls. All in due time I imagine. The building, like most of the clinics locally are on a cement slab. No problem if I live in trainers, but I think I’ll want something a bit dressier than that. I went on eBay this weekend and snagged a pair of Johnson & Murphy black and dark brown saddle shoes. They arrived this afternoon and are perfect! Comfortable as all get out, thanks to shock absorbing rubber soles. Definitely business casual. In short, just what I wanted. Look good while taming a cement slab.

D) Health- so my left shoulder has been giving me grief since last summer. The biceps tendinitis had resolved thanks to a steroid injection last Xmas. Unfortunately, that unmasked the reality the tendinitis was only a part of the problem. Seems I have an impingement syndrome as well. I returned to the orthopedist today, greeted by my former receptionist, who as of last Thursday is his receptionist. My colleague (one of my professionals references as well) made short work of injecting my subacromial bursa and I’ve been treated to my first pain free day since last June. My only hope is that the steroids kick, in before the marcaine wears off! Guess we’ll see what the morning holds.

Enough for now. Time to sleep.

This is been an interesting day.

I dropped off the new car for a scheduled maintenance at the dealership. The service manager promised me that when it was ready I would be called. Then he tried to sell me a brand-new set of tires, to the tune of $1600! Thank you, no.

I had their courtesy car service drop me at the hospital so I can have a light breakfast, and to update my registration with the latest version of the electronic medical record that they use, now which will be cloud-based. I had to get this done by tomorrow when it goes live. Then it was off to the office to get paperwork done followed by a very busy afternoon seeing patients.

At 7 o'clock I sent both the last of my staff and the last of the patients out the door, only to realize once everyone pulled away that the dealership had never called and I had no vehicle. To add insult to injury, while I was trying to get the dealership on the phone, labor and delivery called. I had someone in labor & no way to get there. Fortunately for me it was her first child and I had hours to get there. (She delivered at 1 am, which is why I'm still awake). Mama, whom I delivered once upon a time and her little one are doing just fine.

I called the dealership to find the service department was closed, so I called sales and got ugly. They sent someone over with a loaner car.

I'm going to try to get some shut eye now. Will continue this in the morning.

I signed papers today, to certify one of my patients for medical marijuana use. I looked at the calendar, to date the form & cracked up. I handed over the paper to one rather confused looking patient. Have your MD laugh when handing you paperwork can be rather disconcerting.

"Look at the date," I said.
Then we both started giggling.