osodecanela | On your mark, get set, GO! (I do.)

While I'm grateful for Judge Friedman's ruling in Michigan last Friday AND that he chose not to stay it, there's still a part of me that's unhappy with the need for couples to be wearing track shoes, so they can hit the ground running for the nearest county clerk's office to be able to get married, lest they miss the window before another judge red lights things.

When we got married during the summer of 2008 here in California, we had the window that was created by prop 8 going on to the ballot. My husband and I would have liked a wedding under our denomination's auspices, but the the way our faith does things, we realized we would have been bumping right up against the election and not knowing how it would go, we went ahead and just got married. We put together a wedding in under three weeks with 60 guests and a small reception thereafter. Nothing elaborate, but after all was said and done, I did understand why some people just choose to elope. However, for them, it's a choice, and not a necessity, because their right to marry is secure, and not as it was for us, transitory.

On the morning of our 27th anniversary, in the presence of many of those important to us, we finally said, "with this ring, I thee wed." We got to celebrate our marriage with the people important to us, just like any other couple that marries. We got to experience the power of what it means to make a formal public commitment to one another, just like every other couple that marries. The words of support from all that were there with us that day, still echo in my head and my heart.

The act of getting married remains a political act for our community. It's an assertion of our civil rights, but it's so much more than that. I'd said no the first time my husband asked me to marry him. That came after 14 years together. "It has no basis in law," I said, "Why bother? Besides, if we're first getting married now, what were the last 14 years?"

The day the weddings actually started, I turned and asked him, "Do you still want to get married?" His response? "I thought you'd never ask. Yes!" I didn't think I could love him any more than I already did. I was wrong. The act of getting married, of saying "I do", has only served to strengthen our bond and I think our connection to our larger community that stood with us in support.