(no subject)

[osodecanela]

"[W]hile Lawrence confirmed a dimension of freedom that allows individuals to engage in intimate association without criminal liability, it does not follow that freedom stops there. Outlaw to outcast may be a step forward, but it does not achieve the full promise of liberty."

"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right."

-Anthony Kennedy

Bless you, Justice Kennedy. Bless you.

I read these words and became misty once again. When I heard the announcement on the idiot box Friday morning, I wept. Couldn’t stop myself. I know this isn’t the end of our struggle for equal rights, of equal protection under the law, but wow, what a milestone.

Almost 34 years I have known and loved my husband, who sleeps only feet away as I write. 20 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no. I had no need for a religious ceremony. And more I told him, “If we’re first getting married now, what were the last 14 years?” A few years later, he asked again and my reply was the same. He truly does love me, because he stayed despite that reply. It was important to him and in my pseudo-radical, queer personal identity, I didn’t understand his need and desire to make that commitment. I saw it at best, as playing at being wedded. Moreover, why would I want to ape that portion of the heterosexual lifestyle?

Then I grew up.

Sixteen years ago, he had a heart attack. Had he not insisted we do things like a durable power of attorney for health care, I would have had no ability to speak for him when he could not speak for himself. Without it I was a legal stranger, not the man he had made his life with for 17 years.
Those of you who have followed this blog know how important this equality is to me. You also know what a roller coaster the experience of Prop 8 and its ultimate nullification have been for me. I thank all of you for your thoughtful and kind words over the years.

I sit now on the deck of our home here in the northern California woods, overlooking this narrow river valley. I cannot help but feel this vista is just a little bit more beautiful than it was on Thursday and that he and I have just a bit more right to sit back and enjoy this view together.
There is more work to be done, other civil liberties left to be protected. When Prop 8 succeeded at the polls said to me, “get your butt out of that seat and get to the back of the bus.” Then I realized it was worse than that. It was a command to get off the bus altogether.

This morning as I sit in the glory of this early summer morning here in the woods and thousands march in Pride in dozens of cities across this country and across the globe, thanks to the insight of Justices Kennedy, Ginsburg, Breyer, Kagan and Sotomayor into the intent of our federal constitution, our right to be on the bus is assured.

Comments

[artkouros.livejournal.com]

After 11 years we find ourselves suddenly facing the likelihood of marriage. It's something.