What a celebration!
Sep. 4th, 2017 12:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
osodecanelaI've just had an absolutely fabulous time.
So my first cousin Steve's middle child, Matt married his fiancé, Adam this afternoon. My husband and I flew out for the occasion and my lord, what a time we've all had! A Jewish wedding under a chupah, two of their friends, an older gay Jewish couple officiating, the wedding coupl's siblings, parents, & surviving grandparents all in attendance, including two grandmothers well into their respective 90s & all involved in the ceremony. Watching both sets of parents marching their sons up the aisle left me with tears streaming quietly down my face, as my husband & I sat there to witness it, my elderly mother sitting between us.
Such a long way we have come.
Hearing my mother this past Thursday tell a friend calling to see if she would join them for cards that night, "I can't this week. My son is visiting with my son-in-law. They're here from California." Completely matter of fact. I'm still a bit flabbergasted it's become second nature for her as well as the remainder of my family.
So, as of 8 hours ago, my husband and I are no longer the only married same sex couple in our family. For my cousin and his bridegroom, it was less of a novel and political act, than it was for my husband and I, who were one of the 18,000 couples who wed in California during the window between mid June and Election Day back in '08.
My other real joy is my other foray into normalcy. When we last saw my family just before Thanksgiving last the occasion was our nephew's wedding. That was also now 74 pounds ago. I have graduated from being THAT fat guy to just a guy who's fat. Now I was feeling truly frustrated about clothes for this wedding. We both wore guayaberas to our wedding, thoughts one I wore is now more of a tent. For the last 4 months, I've reliably fit into 2Xs. The remaining guayaberas I still had in 3X all swim on me, so I ordered two over the net, actually is eBay. I had one come to the house, and the other, from a NJ vendor l, sent directly to mom's. They were both Cubavera brand, tho differently styled. Both proved to be too small for me to wear yet. I did try one on at the big and tall back in Santa Rosa and the 2x there did fit. I just wasn't willing to shell out $70 plus tax for a dress shirt that hopefully will be too big for me by the end of the year.
The frustration of buy of one, but two shirts that should have fit, coupled with the weight plateau I've been on for nearly two months had been wearing on me. I was feeling extremely fat again. Sitting down on he plane was heartening. Not only was no seat belt extension needed, I had plenty of length to spare. Moreover, the tray table not only came down completely, I had several inches to slide it back towards my gut! Say amen!!
Further, I've had no trouble moving this week. A 5K Monday was followed by a 2 mile runs on Tues., Sat., & today, as well as a 15 mile bike ride around lower Manhattan with my husband and sister on Friday. My plateau appears to have ended according to mom's scale, which has fallen 4 lbs over the course of this week, which I think is a real loss, as my pants are fitting considerably better on Sunday, than when I packed them on Monday.
I danced today. Horas, as is obligatory at any Jewish wedding, including the chair dance, where the men in the crowd hoisted both grooms into the air, bobbing them up and down as they each held the end of a kerchief, trying simultaneously not to get tossed off the chairs to the floor. My weight lifting has paid off. Adam is the heavier of the two, likely I think 170 & I was one of the 5 who hoisted him skyward.
I danced! Not just the hora, but every chance I got, including 5-6 minutes flinging Matt about in a West Coast swing, even dipping him half way the the floor a time or three. The look on his face was classic. WTF? I've always had a powerful lead, but never had I had the opportunity to dance with Matt or any male relative till today. I had stopped dancing many years ago. With the inflammatory arthritis it was just too hard. To boot I got out of breath way too easily, way too quickly. Well not today. I danced a bit at my nephew's wedding last year. Today however, it was pretty much every dance. I lead numerous partners through west coast swing moves, my sister, several cousins including one of the grooms, as well as his mother & even my husband. None of the 20 and 30 somethings had done swing before, but as I said, I have a powerful lead. I made it work. My ankles may be none but ok happy with me in the morning, but I happily danced the night away, getting good and sweaty, but never once getting out of breath. I'm so bloody jazzed I can't even describe how happy I am.
Add to it all, Matt and Adam are theater people. Adam is in entertainment law, while Matt at one time did regional theater. Their social crowd are theater people. A swing dancer in their midst was a surprise to many of them, especially an older, and still heavy relative, but the number of people who came over to me expressing their surprise on just how light on my feet I am, assured me I was not out of place.
A rather talented drag queen provided much of the entertainment during the wedding reception and the piano bar/cabaret that followed. A large number of people attending the wedding sang. I was one of the earlier singers and drag queen (stage name Cacophony) both performed and MC'd. Her introduction for me started, "I suspect most of you noticed this gentleman on the dance floor tonight. Well he not only dances, he sings. Weaver, please come up here." I went for classic Gershwin - Someone to Watch Over Me . I sang this at my own wedding and was determined I'd do it for theirs. There I was, in a room full of theatre people, on stage singing and it went over splendidly. Matt's younger sister is doing regional theater professionally, and has a voice nothing shy of angelic. She was one of several who sang during the ceremony. She came to me as her parents both hugged me, to tell me my phrasing was perfect. All my cousins of my generation, having not heard me sing since my own Bar Mitzvah almost 50 years ago were uniformly stunned.
Alright, enough navel gazing for now; I need to get horizontal.
So my first cousin Steve's middle child, Matt married his fiancé, Adam this afternoon. My husband and I flew out for the occasion and my lord, what a time we've all had! A Jewish wedding under a chupah, two of their friends, an older gay Jewish couple officiating, the wedding coupl's siblings, parents, & surviving grandparents all in attendance, including two grandmothers well into their respective 90s & all involved in the ceremony. Watching both sets of parents marching their sons up the aisle left me with tears streaming quietly down my face, as my husband & I sat there to witness it, my elderly mother sitting between us.
Such a long way we have come.
Hearing my mother this past Thursday tell a friend calling to see if she would join them for cards that night, "I can't this week. My son is visiting with my son-in-law. They're here from California." Completely matter of fact. I'm still a bit flabbergasted it's become second nature for her as well as the remainder of my family.
So, as of 8 hours ago, my husband and I are no longer the only married same sex couple in our family. For my cousin and his bridegroom, it was less of a novel and political act, than it was for my husband and I, who were one of the 18,000 couples who wed in California during the window between mid June and Election Day back in '08.
My other real joy is my other foray into normalcy. When we last saw my family just before Thanksgiving last the occasion was our nephew's wedding. That was also now 74 pounds ago. I have graduated from being THAT fat guy to just a guy who's fat. Now I was feeling truly frustrated about clothes for this wedding. We both wore guayaberas to our wedding, thoughts one I wore is now more of a tent. For the last 4 months, I've reliably fit into 2Xs. The remaining guayaberas I still had in 3X all swim on me, so I ordered two over the net, actually is eBay. I had one come to the house, and the other, from a NJ vendor l, sent directly to mom's. They were both Cubavera brand, tho differently styled. Both proved to be too small for me to wear yet. I did try one on at the big and tall back in Santa Rosa and the 2x there did fit. I just wasn't willing to shell out $70 plus tax for a dress shirt that hopefully will be too big for me by the end of the year.
The frustration of buy of one, but two shirts that should have fit, coupled with the weight plateau I've been on for nearly two months had been wearing on me. I was feeling extremely fat again. Sitting down on he plane was heartening. Not only was no seat belt extension needed, I had plenty of length to spare. Moreover, the tray table not only came down completely, I had several inches to slide it back towards my gut! Say amen!!
Further, I've had no trouble moving this week. A 5K Monday was followed by a 2 mile runs on Tues., Sat., & today, as well as a 15 mile bike ride around lower Manhattan with my husband and sister on Friday. My plateau appears to have ended according to mom's scale, which has fallen 4 lbs over the course of this week, which I think is a real loss, as my pants are fitting considerably better on Sunday, than when I packed them on Monday.
I danced today. Horas, as is obligatory at any Jewish wedding, including the chair dance, where the men in the crowd hoisted both grooms into the air, bobbing them up and down as they each held the end of a kerchief, trying simultaneously not to get tossed off the chairs to the floor. My weight lifting has paid off. Adam is the heavier of the two, likely I think 170 & I was one of the 5 who hoisted him skyward.
I danced! Not just the hora, but every chance I got, including 5-6 minutes flinging Matt about in a West Coast swing, even dipping him half way the the floor a time or three. The look on his face was classic. WTF? I've always had a powerful lead, but never had I had the opportunity to dance with Matt or any male relative till today. I had stopped dancing many years ago. With the inflammatory arthritis it was just too hard. To boot I got out of breath way too easily, way too quickly. Well not today. I danced a bit at my nephew's wedding last year. Today however, it was pretty much every dance. I lead numerous partners through west coast swing moves, my sister, several cousins including one of the grooms, as well as his mother & even my husband. None of the 20 and 30 somethings had done swing before, but as I said, I have a powerful lead. I made it work. My ankles may be none but ok happy with me in the morning, but I happily danced the night away, getting good and sweaty, but never once getting out of breath. I'm so bloody jazzed I can't even describe how happy I am.
Add to it all, Matt and Adam are theater people. Adam is in entertainment law, while Matt at one time did regional theater. Their social crowd are theater people. A swing dancer in their midst was a surprise to many of them, especially an older, and still heavy relative, but the number of people who came over to me expressing their surprise on just how light on my feet I am, assured me I was not out of place.
A rather talented drag queen provided much of the entertainment during the wedding reception and the piano bar/cabaret that followed. A large number of people attending the wedding sang. I was one of the earlier singers and drag queen (stage name Cacophony) both performed and MC'd. Her introduction for me started, "I suspect most of you noticed this gentleman on the dance floor tonight. Well he not only dances, he sings. Weaver, please come up here." I went for classic Gershwin - Someone to Watch Over Me . I sang this at my own wedding and was determined I'd do it for theirs. There I was, in a room full of theatre people, on stage singing and it went over splendidly. Matt's younger sister is doing regional theater professionally, and has a voice nothing shy of angelic. She was one of several who sang during the ceremony. She came to me as her parents both hugged me, to tell me my phrasing was perfect. All my cousins of my generation, having not heard me sing since my own Bar Mitzvah almost 50 years ago were uniformly stunned.
Alright, enough navel gazing for now; I need to get horizontal.
