The bride wore cowboy boots........
Feb. 12th, 2006 02:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
osodecanelaMy friend Steve and I played phone tag for a couple of weeks. When I finally spoke with him a week ago last Friday, he asked me to marry him. Marry him?
"You want me to what?"
"Rebecca and I are getting married, and we want you to do this ceremony for us."
Now I had never performed a wedding ceremony. As a good Quaker I had been to many Quaker weddings, and had signed my name on numerous Quaker wedding certificates. However, I wasn't the "officiant", and my name was one of many on those wedding certificates. It turns out that there are couple of options on how to get certified to do this. One can either go to the local city or county offices, where marriages are recorded, and take out a license to do a single wedding, or you can register with one of the numerous online religious groups, to become, "Clergy".
It turns out that this isn't an unusual thing apparently; it turns out that the doc in the next office and his office manager, now wife, were married by a friend of theirs who registered specifically to be able to marry them. I believe it was her wedding gift. I have another friend in San Francisco, a dear Quaker lady, whom I believe went the ordination route, and has performed several weddings (or should I say officiated at). Ruth (my friend in the city), recommended sitting down and discussing with the couple to be married, what they wanted in a wedding ceremony. This wedding was not so organized. My schedule didn't commit me the time to sit down with the two of them, to discuss things in advance, and I stand at the day before the wedding that their daughter had also gotten certified to marry them, and that she and I would be doing this ceremony together. Now she and I had known each other for about 15 years. Unfortunately, we hadn't seen each other in years, and only got to discuss the wedding ceremony, 30 minutes in advance of it actually happening.
Steve is a psych tech at the state mental hospital, and they had decided that the wedding would be out of doors on the grounds of the hospital, under an open sky. I thought, "under open sky? Where have I heard that before?" "Jewish weddings!" In Judaic tradition, an observant couple is married under an open sky, but under a chupah, or wedding canopy. I had been racking my brain what to give them as a wedding present, and he came to me. A chupah! In olden times a tallit, or prayer shawl, often served as a chupah. I had a large shawl, which I had originally intended to give my sister and I realized was neither her style, nor her color, which would well serve this purpose, and which I decided to would be the ideal wedding gift.
Star, their daughter had some other ideas to boot. We both decided that we want to borrow from other marriage traditions, the more of them the better. This is the third time around for both Steve and Rebecca, though the first time that they were making this commitment to each other. The two of them had gotten together 33 years ago, but never married, at least at each other. Star was born 30 years ago, and they separated when she was two or three. So, with our fingers crossed that the third time's a charm, Star and I had been given carte blanche to cobble together a wedding ceremony for the two of them. Stephen Rebecca selected time and place, a color theme (which was red), their best man and maid of honor, and left the ceremony to Star and me.
So, at the appointed time, the bride drove up with her maid of honor in a convertible. Star and I were standing on a grassy knoll, beneath old oak tree with the hawks nest, each of us with a stole over our shoulders. Adam & Annie held a broom stick, for the two of them to jump (Star's idea), and then held the chupah aloft above them. Star and I told the crowd gathered, then that we were indeed going to borrow traditions from different cultures, in the hopes that the ties that bind would really hold this time. With and I turned to Steve and asked "do you have any words to your bride?" A momentary look of panic ensued. Finally, he said. "I love you honey!" And he leaned over to kiss her. I stopped him. "Not yet!" I cautioned. "Ya' ain't married yet!" Then Star asked her mother if she had anything to say to Steve. "I love you too."
Then Star asked her father, "do you Steve take Rebecca to love and to cherish, to support and to hold and to obey to be your wife?” "Yes."
I turned to Rebecca and asked "do you Rebecca take Steve to love and to hold, to cherish and support in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, to be your husband?" "I do." With that the best man and the maid of honor put a glass on the ground in front of both Steve and Rebecca for them to stomp on. Then in unison Star and I said, "then we pronounce you husband and wife." "Steve," I said, "now you get to kiss her!" And with that he did, and as he did, Adam and Annie took the chupah down and wrapped it around them, and like a traditional Mexican couple with a lariat around the two of them, at the end of the wedding ceremony, they turned to face their guests. Above, everyone's applause, Star announced, "ladies and gentlemen, I present you the Ford-Budolfson's!"
Thereafter, we went inside for a home cooked Filipino meal prepared by several of Steve's coworkers (lumpia and more!). A wedding that borrowed African-American, Jewish, Mexican, and Filipino traditions - it doesn't get any more eclectic than this!
"You want me to what?"
"Rebecca and I are getting married, and we want you to do this ceremony for us."
Now I had never performed a wedding ceremony. As a good Quaker I had been to many Quaker weddings, and had signed my name on numerous Quaker wedding certificates. However, I wasn't the "officiant", and my name was one of many on those wedding certificates. It turns out that there are couple of options on how to get certified to do this. One can either go to the local city or county offices, where marriages are recorded, and take out a license to do a single wedding, or you can register with one of the numerous online religious groups, to become, "Clergy".
It turns out that this isn't an unusual thing apparently; it turns out that the doc in the next office and his office manager, now wife, were married by a friend of theirs who registered specifically to be able to marry them. I believe it was her wedding gift. I have another friend in San Francisco, a dear Quaker lady, whom I believe went the ordination route, and has performed several weddings (or should I say officiated at). Ruth (my friend in the city), recommended sitting down and discussing with the couple to be married, what they wanted in a wedding ceremony. This wedding was not so organized. My schedule didn't commit me the time to sit down with the two of them, to discuss things in advance, and I stand at the day before the wedding that their daughter had also gotten certified to marry them, and that she and I would be doing this ceremony together. Now she and I had known each other for about 15 years. Unfortunately, we hadn't seen each other in years, and only got to discuss the wedding ceremony, 30 minutes in advance of it actually happening.
Steve is a psych tech at the state mental hospital, and they had decided that the wedding would be out of doors on the grounds of the hospital, under an open sky. I thought, "under open sky? Where have I heard that before?" "Jewish weddings!" In Judaic tradition, an observant couple is married under an open sky, but under a chupah, or wedding canopy. I had been racking my brain what to give them as a wedding present, and he came to me. A chupah! In olden times a tallit, or prayer shawl, often served as a chupah. I had a large shawl, which I had originally intended to give my sister and I realized was neither her style, nor her color, which would well serve this purpose, and which I decided to would be the ideal wedding gift.
Star, their daughter had some other ideas to boot. We both decided that we want to borrow from other marriage traditions, the more of them the better. This is the third time around for both Steve and Rebecca, though the first time that they were making this commitment to each other. The two of them had gotten together 33 years ago, but never married, at least at each other. Star was born 30 years ago, and they separated when she was two or three. So, with our fingers crossed that the third time's a charm, Star and I had been given carte blanche to cobble together a wedding ceremony for the two of them. Stephen Rebecca selected time and place, a color theme (which was red), their best man and maid of honor, and left the ceremony to Star and me.
So, at the appointed time, the bride drove up with her maid of honor in a convertible. Star and I were standing on a grassy knoll, beneath old oak tree with the hawks nest, each of us with a stole over our shoulders. Adam & Annie held a broom stick, for the two of them to jump (Star's idea), and then held the chupah aloft above them. Star and I told the crowd gathered, then that we were indeed going to borrow traditions from different cultures, in the hopes that the ties that bind would really hold this time. With and I turned to Steve and asked "do you have any words to your bride?" A momentary look of panic ensued. Finally, he said. "I love you honey!" And he leaned over to kiss her. I stopped him. "Not yet!" I cautioned. "Ya' ain't married yet!" Then Star asked her mother if she had anything to say to Steve. "I love you too."
Then Star asked her father, "do you Steve take Rebecca to love and to cherish, to support and to hold and to obey to be your wife?” "Yes."
I turned to Rebecca and asked "do you Rebecca take Steve to love and to hold, to cherish and support in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, to be your husband?" "I do." With that the best man and the maid of honor put a glass on the ground in front of both Steve and Rebecca for them to stomp on. Then in unison Star and I said, "then we pronounce you husband and wife." "Steve," I said, "now you get to kiss her!" And with that he did, and as he did, Adam and Annie took the chupah down and wrapped it around them, and like a traditional Mexican couple with a lariat around the two of them, at the end of the wedding ceremony, they turned to face their guests. Above, everyone's applause, Star announced, "ladies and gentlemen, I present you the Ford-Budolfson's!"
Thereafter, we went inside for a home cooked Filipino meal prepared by several of Steve's coworkers (lumpia and more!). A wedding that borrowed African-American, Jewish, Mexican, and Filipino traditions - it doesn't get any more eclectic than this!
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-13 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-13 02:47 am (UTC)For that matter so was the reception. Danced my butt off, and given that my other half has two left feet and won't let me lead, I don't get to dance much.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-28 08:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 11:06 pm (UTC)(in my best Scotty voice)