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osodecanelaThis was a hard week for me.
Like the bulk of the nation, I was glued to my tv Thursday watching the drama that is the Kavanaugh nomination evolve. I was struck by Dr. Blasy Ford & found her very credible. Her testimony before Congress hit a nerve for me. When? When she recounted having to explain to her husband why she needed a second front door to their home. An escape route, should it ever be needed. Again.
I felt ice water suddenly course though me, as I recognized the rationale and it brought me back to my personal me too moment. For easily a decade I could not sleep in a room without a door that locked. Not since the 2nd Friday of February 1973.
I was a college freshman sleeping in the dorm lounge, so my roommate & his visiting girlfriend could have some privacy. We had been partying and I was under the influence. That inebriation left me vulnerable to attack, unable to defend myself adequately. I was 17.
Like Dr Ford, I didn’t report the assault at the time either. I couldn’t. Society barely acknowledged that women could be sexually abused & often were treated as culpable for inviting their own attacks. Forty five years after my assault, that remains largely unchanged. The idea that a man could be victimized? In 1973, unthinkable. It took me over 3 years to seek psychologic help.
I believe Dr. Ford. There are elements of my own attack that remain vivid for me even though they happened nearly 1/2 a century ago. They were scortched into my hippocampus by adrenaline and pain, but I’ve been spared the special pain she bears, in that I didn’t know my attacker. I never saw his face. Other than muttered growls to be quiet, I never heard his voice. Were my attacker elevated to the Supreme Court, I would suffer no further injury, because I do not know the truth of where or even who he is. Dr Ford is a brave woman for being willing to step forward and speak her truth, to be subject to the partisan attacks on her, both public and private. She has risked much to tell the truth, her personal safety and that of her family first and foremost.
I pray this is a new dawn in America. Me too.
Like the bulk of the nation, I was glued to my tv Thursday watching the drama that is the Kavanaugh nomination evolve. I was struck by Dr. Blasy Ford & found her very credible. Her testimony before Congress hit a nerve for me. When? When she recounted having to explain to her husband why she needed a second front door to their home. An escape route, should it ever be needed. Again.
I felt ice water suddenly course though me, as I recognized the rationale and it brought me back to my personal me too moment. For easily a decade I could not sleep in a room without a door that locked. Not since the 2nd Friday of February 1973.
I was a college freshman sleeping in the dorm lounge, so my roommate & his visiting girlfriend could have some privacy. We had been partying and I was under the influence. That inebriation left me vulnerable to attack, unable to defend myself adequately. I was 17.
Like Dr Ford, I didn’t report the assault at the time either. I couldn’t. Society barely acknowledged that women could be sexually abused & often were treated as culpable for inviting their own attacks. Forty five years after my assault, that remains largely unchanged. The idea that a man could be victimized? In 1973, unthinkable. It took me over 3 years to seek psychologic help.
I believe Dr. Ford. There are elements of my own attack that remain vivid for me even though they happened nearly 1/2 a century ago. They were scortched into my hippocampus by adrenaline and pain, but I’ve been spared the special pain she bears, in that I didn’t know my attacker. I never saw his face. Other than muttered growls to be quiet, I never heard his voice. Were my attacker elevated to the Supreme Court, I would suffer no further injury, because I do not know the truth of where or even who he is. Dr Ford is a brave woman for being willing to step forward and speak her truth, to be subject to the partisan attacks on her, both public and private. She has risked much to tell the truth, her personal safety and that of her family first and foremost.
I pray this is a new dawn in America. Me too.
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Date: 2018-10-03 01:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-03 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-18 04:50 am (UTC)