osodecanela: (Default)
[personal profile] osodecanela
My feelings about abortion are complicated.

Basically, I believe it’s a personal choice for the woman involved and the only other people she needs to take into account in reaching her decision might be her significant other and support network. I don’t think the state should have the right to force anyone to carry a pregnancy they don’t want, for whatever reason they don’t want to continue the pregnancy.

However, when I say pro-choice, I mean choice, yea or nay. My personal decision was to see that the service was available, but not to preform them myself. I had the option and the opportunity to learn how to do the procedure while I was in my training. I declined. Just as I am uncomfortable with anyone making a choice for the woman/couple involved, I’m uncomfortable with having to provide that service myself.

All that said, I’m so bloody angry with conservative lawmakers who’re bending over backwards to force women to continue with pregnancies no matter what. Angry enough, that for a moment I regretted my personal decision not to provide that service myself. Georgia just became another state to pass and sign a ‘heartbeat’ bill. No abortions permitted after 6 weeks.

I’ve been thinking much about a good friend in the Pacific Northwest and his difficult family situation.

In his late 20s, “Ed” partnered with a man who had partial custody of his young daughter. Ed’s partner eventually became his husband and with that Ed officially became a stepfather. At 13, they became “Anna’s” primary custodial parents, when Anna’s mom’s living situation became untenable for her to be the custodial parent. Anna has had some major mental health issues, including several bouts of self harming and her participation in school has been less than sterling.

Several months ago the child entered a boarding vocational program that would give her a high school diploma. Within the month she was pregnant. She’s stopped her psychiatric meds, and is determined to continue the pregnancy. Did I mention she’s still a dependent minor? And the boy in question is younger than she?

To me this sounds like a recipe for disaster. Both Ed and his hubby are now working full time; they have to. Neither are particularly well paid. Neither of them are in a position to become a full time parent, nor is Anna’s mother. This young woman isn’t prepared to take care of herself, let alone an infant. Ed and his husband did what they could to get the girl onto contraception, and despite it all, they’re now likely to be faced with becoming the primary caretakers of an infant around Xmas. Ed had been pushing for a long term contraceptive method, but since the girl is needlephobic, neither depoprovera nor an implant got prescribed. Ed felt particularly discounted as a parent by the healthcare providers, when decisions were being made as to what method they were going to give her. He was told it’s her body. His thought was, “yeah, but she’s our kid!” And now he and her father are going to face parenting an infant if or more likely, when their daughter, the child’s mother, falls on her face yet again.

Should this young woman come to her senses change her mind, where they are, she will be able to legally and easily terminate the pregnancy. In a third of the country, not so much and it’s soon to be even worse.

Date: 2019-05-14 02:18 pm (UTC)
geometrician: (Default)
From: [personal profile] geometrician
Your friends' situation demonstrates that penetrating nature of this issue. I do agree that abortion should be safely, easily, and inexpensively available. An unexpected pregnancy has the power to splinter backwards and forwards through generations. I feel like a strong part of the consequences that come from unwanted pregnancies are the product of our society's antiquated inhibitions and mores about human sexuality and biology. The need to pretend that we are not sexual creatures and to feign shock when anyone does anything remotely sexual, and to pretend that better folks are somehow able to feel nothing sexual has done horrific things to our cultural fabric. It has been going on so long that the negative effects of it for individuals, families, and communities have become ingrained in us. It can feel as though our attitudes about sexuality are inherent to us, rather than learned. If we want a more healthful way of being, we will have to find ways to normalize matters of sex and libido for ourselves and our families. A teenager, driven by romance and basic horniness, should not be forced to discover the realities of their sexuality and the falsities of society by trial and error, particularly when the first trial can turn out to be such a grievous error.

Date: 2019-05-15 01:30 am (UTC)
mrdreamjeans: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mrdreamjeans
An unexpected pregnancy has the power to splinter backwards and forwards through generations. This is a powerful, succinct statement.

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