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My heart is screaming this morning. It’s a combination of fear, anger, dread, shame and disgust. I’m trying to convince myself we haven’t been transported to Germany of the 1930’s. I’m fighting with myself that white people aren’t bloody dangerous. I must not paint America’s white, Christian community with a broad brush, but at this moment, my adrenalin level is far too high.

The rhetoric of our president is horrific. Divisive. Inflammatory. This is the man leading the country, and rather than speaking to the best in each of us, instead he fans the flames of tribalism and hate, accepting neither responsibility nor even acknowledgement he is doing so. The message remains to everyone not Caucasian, Christian, heterosexual, or a native English speaker; you are lesser than & do not deserve the privilege reserved for “true Americans”. To his base, he is saying, “you have been wronged. These other people are robbing you of your birthright.”

The result? Charlottesville. The Unite the Right march last year where white men, outraged by their perceived loss of privilege & power, marched carrying tiki torches, chanting, “Jews will not replace us!!” The news carried word of the counter protester who was run over and killed, but there was very little coverage of the armed protesters outside one of Charlottesville synagogue, during Saturday morning services. This week, a rightwing ideologue felt justified to send pipe bombs to 15 people on the president’s boogeyman list. They were all prominent folks identified with the left, predominantly either people of color or Jewish. This morning there’s been a shooting at a Pittsburgh synagogue during Saturday morning services that left between 8 &10 people dead.

Our president’s first comment in front of the press suggested the outcome would have been different had there been an armed guard on duty. WTF? An armed guard would have prevented this from happening? Not an examination of mental health services in this country, nor a tightening of gun laws here & certainly not a reformation of the rhetoric used by voices on the right, the president himself chief amongst them. Come, one and all, to your places of worship, replete with firearms, so you can worship the divine in peace. I can think of no greater evidence of the giant rent in the social fabric of our nation.

Trump has a bully pulpit. He could be using it to pour oil onto troubled waters. Instead he continues to stir the pot of discontent. We have seen this tactic before, Germany of the 1930’s. My little minority heart has to ask, “what do I do? Is it time for me to leave?” I never met the bulk of my mother’s family. They died in the holocaust. They did not have the wherewithal to get out of Europe and so, they perished. Before the holocaust Grandma was the youngest of 10. After, she was one of two, the two who were here.

There was a Brit Milah going on at the synagogue this morning when the shooting happened. A infant was being circumcised and more importantly, being named, welcomed into the congregation. Among the Ashkenazic Jews, children traditionally are named for the dead. That little boy now bears the name of a beloved grandparent or cousin, someone who was important to one or perhaps both of his parents. It’s a way to keep that person’s memory alive. I was named for Grandma’s father, as was my sister. This morning’s act of hatred and terror has left at least 8 more families with names to use for other children.

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