Third Sunday of June....

[osodecanela]

Had to pull over to the side of the road on my way to see a newborn this morning. I was listening to NPR, & there was a piece about a man in his late 70's struggling with advancing Parkinsonism. The reporter was his son. It was the folksy, tug-at-your-heart journalism that they do so well & so often on "Weekend Edition".

They made no mention of Father's Day, but I'm certain the timing of this story was no accident.

My tears started to flow. I had to pull over to the side of the road till they passed and my own grief subsided.

Pop is gone 15 years; 16 this September. Most if the time, I do ok with that fact. Then almost without warning, that he's gone hurts so badly, it's almost unbearable. I cannot stop the tears, when the grief sweeps over me like a thunderstorm.

It took me 5 minutes to capitulate to my grief and then re-compose myself. Then it was on to the hospital for the cycle of life. A young woman I've known for the last 15 years, since she was 5, became a mother herself this morning.

I did her infant's exam as the child lay cradled in he father's arms. He's 20 and absolutely rapt at the sight of his child. They've named her Melanie.

I smiled at him & wished him a happy Father's Day. He smiled back and replied, "I got what I wanted. There is no greater gift."

I will think about that tomorrow when I return to send this new family home.

And I will remember with love and gratitude my own father, who taught me the meaning if unconditional love.

Comments

[putzmeisterbear.livejournal.com]

Wow. Big huge hugs.

...

[dorisduke.livejournal.com]

This is not snark, but a real question.

What did your father do to get such admiration and love?

Re: ...

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

The first 12 of my life were spent looking up to him. He was the saviour on the white steed. When I was 6 or 7 I went sledding across what turned out to be rather thin ice just a block from the house and it was Pop who ran and plucked me out of the frigid water, where I could well have drowned. He was gregarious, at ease in public and most social situations and he had a ready smile and a great sense of humor.

Puberty did not help our relationship and 13 thru my mid 20's were spent trying to differentiate myself from him. It was only much later that I discovered what a balancing force he was, keeping my mother and school teachers off of my back. According to my mother, she would chafe at every open school night. The would routinely be told I was not living up to my full potential. Pop would ask, "is he in the class of the brightest kids for his grade?" and he was told yes. He followed, "and you said he's in the middle of his class grade-wise?" Again, he got a yes. "Then kindly get off and stay off my kid's back."

I moved cross country in my mid-20's after finishing medical school, to do my residency and in part, to come to terms with my orientation. Pop accepted my move with grace and with support. When I really needed his advice, it was there when I asked, but it was never foisted on me. It was only in the final 5 years of his life that I really began to understand this acorn had not fallen all that far from the tree. I have his sense of humor and his ease in public. It's his gregariosity that I'm just as well known for. I have his sense of fairness and concern for the world. I can cook, something that HE taught me, not my mother.

What brings me peace in his loss, is I know I was loved by him, fully, deeply and unconditionally. I have no question he helped shape that man I have become, and that much of what and who I am today, is because of him.

Re: ...

[dorisduke.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the well explained reply.

[broduke2000.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[albear-garni.livejournal.com]

Yes, I heard the story. It looks like the gift your patient and husband received was also received an indirect gift to you, as well. Sometimes these things happen to remind us of how good life has been and can be.

[bearquest.livejournal.com]

Time can ease the pain but won't wipe away all your tears
Things will never be the same but your broken heart still hears

Voices from the past and they're still calling out to you
Memories will last but you're left wondering what to do

When this life reminds you that for now they're out of touch
And the love for them that binds you is the reason you miss them so much

So many good times to remember; they helped shape who you are
And as you reflect each September you realize that you've come so far

You've got the power to heal; it's an honor that you have earned
The gift you give is real just like the lessons you have learned

The cycle of life goes on and each of us must play his part
But when our stay here is done we will live on in our loved one's heart

*HUGS*

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

From your mouth to the Divine's ears. Thank you for this.

[tilia-tomentosa.livejournal.com]

*hugs*